It’s something that shouldn’t happen but occurs in too many relationships.
Maybe it starts with a vague sense that something is awry. Maybe it’s a subtle change in behaviour that you can’t put your finger on. While you may hope your husband or wife isn’t cheating, there comes a time when peace of mind requires solid evidence.
These signs your husband or wife is cheating may not be foolproof measures but they are classic indicators.
This may sound like a wishy-washy question but relationships run largely on instinctive cues. Has communication become defensive or strained for no reason? Has the habit your spouse has of always calling on the way home suddenly stopped?
Every couple has their patterns that allow the relationship to maintain its uniqueness and equilibrium. If your partner has stopped those little things you know so well, it could be a good time to ask if everything is OK and hope there is a truly good reason.
Affairs demand deception and deception shows through strange behaviour. These signs may be as overt as slipping a wedding ring off before going out or suddenly appearing with new jewellery without a receipt.
Sudden bursts of uncomfortable or flirtatious behaviour around someone you know can be another sign, as can solo midnight drives by a partner who never takes them. Perhaps the biggest sign is your partner suddenly losing all interest in being nice to you, let alone intimate.
Conversely, if a partner feeling guilty they may suddenly become more pleasant and affectionate than ever.
Does your partner leave in the morning wearing one perfume or cologne and come home wearing another? Have they taken to wearing a brand new fragrance when they’ve stuck to the same one for years?
These are more signs that point to an affair, along with a sudden and renewed interest in making themselves look amazing, before they head out for another ‘unavoidable’ late night meeting.
One sign that something is definitely not right is when your partner hits the shower as soon as they get home. Some people do this habitually, but if it’s uncharacteristic and you know they haven’t come from the gym, it’s time to start asking questions.
Is your partner suddenly taking an interest in their mobile? Has a new email account appeared alongside routine and uncharacteristic jumpiness around your shared computer?
Even jumping to answer the phone, acting aloof after a phone call, or getting nervous at every text message can signify a problem. Other signs to look out for are an increase in callers who hang up whenever you answer your landline.
If you have a family car that typically has a few toys in the backseat and these suddenly end up back in the house, you’re bound to find yourself concerned.
Other signs include a passenger seat that’s been adjusted, a mysterious decision to keep a change of clothes in the car, and quick trips to the petrol station that take hours.
A sudden increase in late night and weekend work may be part of the job, but if these are accompanied by weak excuses and exhausted returns at 3AM, you could be in trouble.
If there is a strong social component to your partner’s job, but you feel you’re no longer included in it, that’s a good time to look at other signs of an affair.
Perhaps the biggest sign is when your partner’s colleagues start acting uncomfortable around you. Sadly, the cliché of being the first to suspect but the last to know often holds true.
When weighing up whether your spouse is having an affair, it’s best to look at the overall picture rather than isolated events. If your partner is showing numerous signs of the above, chances are high that they’re straying.
If it’s only one or two then maybe they’re just taking up a new hobby, having a rough time at work, or are distracted by financial or family concerns. At the end of the day, no one knows your partner like you, so let your gut instinct be your guide.
If you want to find out if your partner is cheating, get in touch with one of our experienced and professional private investigators by calling 0800 567 7006 or contact us online.